The Pope visits the UK

As you might know, the Catholic Pope is visiting the UK in a few weeks. Amusingly enough, a young Foreign Office fellow decided to write a memo laying out things he can do while he is here. This list just blew up and the foreign office has apologised to the Vatican and the Church and and and. So i was curious as to what they are talking about?

On the face of it, well, lets see what the face says:

• Launch of Benedict Condoms: That’s just silly. Now Benedictine wine is ok. Lack of sense of humour there, lol.
• Review of Vatican attitude on condom use: Well, quite a lot of people have asked the Vatican to change its stance on condoms, but it being one of those regulated established patriarchal churches, it will never allow the health of women or birth control to come into the way of men enjoying their bonking.
• Bless a civil partnership: Good heavens, treat people equally? allow somebody else other than the church to agree on marriages? the very idea, bah!
• Reversal of policy on women bishops / ordain woman. Now here’s another point about the Church’s hypocrisy. Have you ever heard of a single good reason why women cannot serve the Lord in the church? Oh! but then it will reduce the power of the wrinkly old white men, no?
• Open an abortion ward: Abortion is another of those things, they dont have to look after the kids for 9 months, and they wouldn't allow abortion even for rapes or incest or what have you. But then, we know that the church is misogynistic already.
• Speech on equality: The church? believe in equality? good heavens, NEVER!. It would much rather rabbit on about silly things.
• Statement on view over adoption. Then again, not everybody can adopt, it can only be people that the church approves of. Lesbians cannot adopt kids, for example. Equality of sexes and humans? NOOOOO, Jesus Christ discriminated men from men, women from women, men from women, Gosh, Mr. Pope, what would Jesus do? Their concern about the unborn child is huge when it comes to abortion but it sort of disappears when it comes to adoption. Hypocrisy.
• Training courses for all bishops on child abuse allegations: But of course, given the pretty much world wide situation with child abuse, it seems to be systemic. Give them training
• Harder Line on child abuse. Yes, defrock them and then hand over the bastards to the police to be chucked into jail. And then pay compensation to the kids. And then apologise. Ever think about the fact that we know of the child abuse situation for years now and still nothing from the Pope. In a secular area, the person would be on the child abuse register and in jail within months. But they were let go. Obviously the Pope thinks we are stupid and more importantly, the paedophile priests matter more than the kids. Another frikking hypocritical stance on children and kids versus abortion.
• Vatican sponsorship for network of AIDS clinics. Oh! yes, they push abstinence, dont they? for a way to treat AIDS? Like their priests are abstinent? And we all know what these abstinent priests got up to, dont we?
• Meet young unemployed people. Hmm, this is silly, why would young unemployed people want to meet an old man who is obviously in some other world? Just what does he have in common with young unemployed people? He is young, he is employed and as for as people, hmm
• Apologise for…, good lord, there are huge reasons..
• Canonise a group? not sure what this is about. Canonise a group? what group? The AA?
• Announce whistle blowing system for child abuse cases. Why not? but will not, yes?
• Go to job centre: see young unemployed point above.
• Debate on abortion: See abortion above.
• All catholic schools should be free entry to all. But then, the church doesnt like the idea of separation of state and church. So while its fine in taking state funding for kids, it doesnt like to open its entrance to all. Mind you, it does in other countries, I myself studied in a Jesuit school. Its just here that it has problems.
• Speech on democracy: Why not? nothing wrong with it.
• Vatican and CoE dialogue, yep.
• Launch helpline for abused children. See above.

I can see why the Foreign Office got upset, this list has couple of silly ideas but most are actually very hard hitting and truthful. The Pope, as we know, is fundamentalist, hypocritical, discriminatory and frankly a protector of paedophile priests. This would have exposed them. Just like we allow various other tinpot dictators and idiots in here, the Pope will also be allowed in without embarrassing him. Bah