Do you know how to work out a bra size? As roughly 50% of the British population wear them, you'd have thought most of them would have an idea. But though a 2009 survey found that the average British woman owns 16 bras at any one time and buys four every year, fitting them is a surprisingly tricky activity. The traditional method reads like an A-level algebra problem. You take a tape measure and wrap it round your chest at the lowest point where a bra sits. You record this figure in inches. You add four to this measurement if the number is even, five if it's odd – and the resultant number is your band size. Then you wrap the tape round again and measure the fullest part of the actual breasts. Next you subtract the band size from breast size to find your cup size. If the numbers are the same, you're an A cup. If there's an inch difference, you're a B; two and you need a C cup and so on. Alternatively, and many bra experts say more accurately, you can weigh your breasts by dunking them into a full bowl of water and measuring the displaced liquid, with 1 litre of water equalling 1kg. It's accurate but useless. You can do precisely nothing with this information, as no bra manufacturer measures boobs by the pound.
Imagine if guys had to do this for their undies? First measure the circumference of the testes at the most extreme and when hanging fully loose. Then measure the range of movement up and down. Then measure the willy when fully extended. Both length and girth. with or without foreskin. Then when its very cold and its turned into a kidney bean and the goolies are sultanas, measure the bump. then use a pendulum (very small one please) to measure how does it hang and how do you dress. Then if you are left or right handed for when you are trying to fish it out of your fly to take a wee. Then do some horrible calculations.
Throw out the calculations, have a beer, buy a pair of boxers and spray all over the place anyway.