I read this article and I thought of sharing this with you and some thoughts. I know I am your father and I am old and a fuddy duddy and what I know of fashion can fit into a tiny thimble. Still, there are some opinions I have after having visited many many countries and met literally thousands of people in a wide variety of situations, Choti.
First of all, yes, I agree that focussing on how you look is not good, but then people are humans, they make their judgement on you based upon the first impressions. So there is nothing wrong in looking good. Secondly, it is very very easy to look sexy. Show some leg, show some chest, heavy makeup and yes, you will be noticed. I loved the quote in the article which says, be astonishing without creating astonishment. Do not base your fashion sense on film stars, sweetheart, nor on music stars. See some people like Jacqueline de Ribes or some of my favourite people like Christine Lagarde. They are classy, Choti. And class comes out, it emerges effortlessly, its in everything, how you speak to people, how polite you are, how you shake hands, how you dress, how you thank people, so on and so forth. That's where you need to go for Choti. Not the people who go for sexy. Not fun. Never follow the crowd, darling, everybody will be wearing leggings so stand out. Some of those leggings look weird. You need to have few good clothes, with scarves. With good shoes, create your own style. You know what it comes across? Boring. When the world is full of boring women who are all the same, legs chest breast make up out, how do you stand out? You stand out by being a lady. By being ridiculously well read (which you are, I am so proud of you), having a wicked sense of humour, very polite, and know that you are unique. Which you are. I think you have great friends as well.
So that's the main thing which I wanted to say, Choti, go for elegant, smart, not sexy - that is too easy and common. Anybody can be sexy, but a lady stands out :)
Does anybody want to be elegant rather than sexy?” asked Frenchwoman Jacqueline de Ribes. Born into an aristocratic family and blessed with unique beauty and a nose like Cleopatra, Jacqueline reveled in adorning her swanlike figure in gowns as elaborate as those of Marie Antoinette. De Ribes had an insatiable appetite for creativity—she would tear apart her couture gowns to create new and elaborate styles. Her silhouette transfixed the eyes, and her presence captured the hearts of the men who surrounded her, from notable designers to noblemen. She made waves with her eccentric yet classic style, renowned in both her native Paris and abroad in America for her unsurpassed beauty, captivating charm, and swanlike grace. While this may sound like a fairy tale from centuries past, it is the true story of a woman who was one of twentieth century fashion’s greatest muses. Yet most millennials have never heard of her. “Glamour,” says de Ribes, “is a worldly style, lots of allure, a touch of flamboyance, a deep know-how, all wrapped up in natural seduction.”