Luck and happy special day Choti - July 2020

My dear Choti

I saw that video of yours where you were 3 years old and were telling me how you tidied up your room. You were and are so cute and adorable and I missed you so much L squish squish.

Well, your special day is coming up and I had a few moments free so decided to send you a regular special day email J some days early even. Baba is always last in wishing you guys with a special day wish. Mamma specially is up past midnight and she regularly wishes all of us happy special day and happy birthday and stuff.

Anyway, I am missing you, so there. But I wanted to talk to you about luck because I read this fascinating quote, “Luck was really stubbornness married to a knack for observation, a fluid sense of the truth, a sharp ear for lies, and a deeply suspicious nature” by Michael Chabon, Moonglow. Luck is a funny thing, Choti. You may have heard it as “you are lucky” or in the new parlance, you are privileged. Or check your privilege. Yes, you are born with quite a lot of huge advantages, Choti. You are born in a developed country. To educated parents. In a good house. Studying in a good school. With great friends. In a safe locality. With greenery around. With loads of books. With people with high expectations. with parents who are married (despite Mamma’s daily threats to kill me). With good food and nutrition. Without problems much with pollution or environmental disasters. Your baba tells you dad jokes. With fantastic access to information. With a good brother (he is a gadha and libre sometimes..but generally is a good brother). You have good clothes. You have access to great healthcare and orthodontists. You look absolutely like a lovely young lady and know dancing. You are able to do athletics. You are a head girl. You are hugely intelligent and smart and hard working. You have a great future ahead of you. you are loved and cared for. You have a set of circumstances which to many other people, is being very very lucky (well, maybe not so much on the Baba jokes) but you get what I mean?

But darling, you cannot rely on it and coast on it. You have to build on what you have. There’s nothing wrong in having the above advantages but it will be a shame if you don’t build on it. That’s where I loved the quote, it doesn’t talk about what you have got but what you do with it. So the reason why I liked the Michael quote was the forward look, the active development of the luck factor. Its more your personality. Take a look at each of the factors, sweetheart. Stubbornness. Another word for dedicated. But its more than that. It goes beyond dedication. It means you are stubborn and keep at it for much longer than what others may have done and have given up. That’s the key thing, Choti. You have to be stubborn about a few things. Principles perhaps, a mission, a vision. A dream, push on and do it. Second element is observation. I have spoken to you about Einstein’s quote, children and genius’s share one quality, they are curious. You need to keep looking and observing things. Look at the skies, look at the quirk of the eyebrow. Look at the earthworm in the ground. Observe patterns in newspaper articles. Look at data and think about the drum beats in the songs which you like. Observe. Be curious. Keep asking why, where, who, when what. As Kipling says,

I Keep Six Honest  Serving Men

I KEEP six honest serving-men  (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When  And How and Where and Who. I send them over land and sea,  I send them east and west; But after they have worked for me,  I give them all a rest. I let them rest from nine till five,  For I am busy then, As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,  For they are hungry men. But different folk have different views; I know a person small— She keeps ten million serving-men, Who get no rest at all! She sends'em abroad on her own affairs,  From the second she opens her eyes— One million Hows, two million Wheres, And seven million Whys! The Elephant's Child

The second stanza is the key, never let them rest. Adults, specially become less curious. They stop asking questions. Thinking that asking questions makes them look illiterate. NO! asking questions is how you become curious, darling. You know shit and stuff.

The next one is the fluid sense of the truth. Life isn’t black and white and as a budding historian and classicist, you will know that history or truth is a mist. Its vague. It depends on who is telling and when. It shifts and turns and what is accepted truth can no longer be the same. If the truth is that a brown girl cannot succeed in the corporate or academic or political world, well, its not true because you can and will overcome it. Never take these so-called truths on face value, question them, darling. Same one for lies, flip side, question everything, they are just statements. And the final one is also related, a deeply suspicious nature. Always query, ask and specially of yourself. Are you taking yourself for granted? Constantly challenge yourself and prepare yourself. 1 year back you were saying you were rubbish at food. And now? You are making gourmet Italian pasta meals!. Which is extraordinary and I am so proud of you. Still debating the turnip thing which you have a very unhealthy fascination with but…leave that alone J

So when you are talking about luck, Choti, be this, ask questions and challenge yourself. Here’s another quote, “Good luck is when opportunity meets preparation, while bad luck is when lack of preparation meets reality.” – Eliyahu Goldratt

Anyway, I have banged on too much already, Choti. Have a lovely day, do call up Didu if you can this week, she has had a bad painful back and is really suffering at the moment.

Love you and missing you terribly, Choti.

Be well

Your loving Baba.