Artificial Virginity

On a mailing list, we started talking about Virgin Racing starting up in the UK and Rizz asked about where on earth will they find enough virgins in the UK to race? Well, I talked about how they can use the artificial virginity kits.

See what the blurb says?

"No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction."

A fuller description:

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use, no allergic reaction
Artificial Virginity Hymen is created from Kyoto, Tapan at 1993. it was first introduced to the locals, then it gets famous and spread to Thailand at 1995 and now avaliable in South East Asia, South Asia and in the Middle East countries.
It is mainly made of natural albumin, medical use inflation element and water-soluble base medicinal preparation which have no side effect.
Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groan, you will pass through undetectable.
Main causes of hymen tore or break:

• Strenuous exercise (Gymnastics, sports, martial art, horse riding, etc)
• Premarital Sex
• Childhood accident (Hard object)
• Wearing a tampon for the first time

Made in Japan.
Expire: 2 years.
How to use:

• Open the package and rub on the artificial hymen, then carefully put into the vagina. If vaginal is dry, dip the artificial hymen to water and then put it into the vagina as quickly as you can.
• Place inside vagina 15-20 minutes before intercourse
• Finally, cleans the vulva after having sexual intercourse.
• The artificial hymen will melt inside the vagina so will not fall out

For $29.99, you can show off your doofus husband to be a complete and utter nincompoop and yourself as a complete idiot. And for people like, you, you can also get discounts if you order in bulk!.

Good heavens, I havent laughed out so much in days. Well, since couple of days when we had a snow day :). But can you imagine the woman who bonks about before marriage (which is absolutely no problem), but has to go about inserting this shit into her vagina and then adds some moans and groans. What the hell? What IS this? some kind of a joke? And then to top it all, she is getting married to a man who judges the character and suitability of his wife by the existence (or not) of a membrane in the vagina?

This is a great way to start the marriage. The husband coming to bed thinking the woman is a virgin (which age were you from? cretaceous?) and the wife dishonestly getting this done? Very nice. I dont blame the girl too much as she can get killed, but damn….

What really got me going was the bunch of Islamic Brothers and the assorted religious idiots in Egypt who said

The Muslim Brotherhood, which controls 20 percent of the seats in Egypt's parliament, called the re-virginizing kit a "mark of shame" and expressed plans to arrest anyone who hawks it on the black market--peddlers could be charged with "banditry and punished for spreading immorality and sin," according to the LA Times

Another report said:

Sheik Sayed Askar, a member of Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood who is on the parliamentary committee on religious affairs, said the kit will make it easier for Egyptian women to give in to temptation. He demanded the government take responsibility for fighting the product. ... Prominent Egyptian religious scholar Abdel Moati Bayoumi said anyone who imports the artificial hymen should be punished. "This product encourages illicit sexual relations. Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage," Bayoumi said. ... "If this thing enters Egypt, the country is going to go to waste. God protect us," commented a reader on the Web site of Egyptian newspaper Al-Youm Al-Sabie.

Well, considering that the Islamic Brotherhood is a supporter of Female Genital Mutilation and finds support in the religious books, you know what they want women to be in Egypt. Veiled, pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. Mind you, it wont help them anyway. See what happens.

In a Muslim country where the numbers of women wearing the veil are rising, and so -- by most accounts -- are incidents of groping and catcalls in the streets, the message in ads circulating anonymously in e-mails here in Egypt is clear: "A veil to protect, or eyes will molest," one warns. The words sit over two illustrations, one comparing a veiled woman, her hair and neck covered in the manner known to Muslims as hijab, to a wrapped candy, untouched and pure.

The other picture shows an unveiled woman, hair flying wildly and hip jutting, next to a candy that has had its wrapper stripped off -- and is now covered in flies. "You can't stop them, but you can protect yourself," warns another ad likening men to flies and women to sweets. Bloggers in Egypt have taken to calling such messages the "veil your lollipop" campaign.

Surprisingly, some Egyptian women say that their veils don't protect against harassment, as the lollipop ads argue, but fuel it. A survey released this summer supports the view.

So, here we are with the essential problem. The problem are the men who are like flies. You know what needs to be done with flies. You swat them. Perhaps they need to be revirginised as well. How about shoving something large up their bottoms which will make them bleed? Or perhaps they might end up liking it? Is that how male virginising will work for people like these flies or people who support FGM?

The women are somewhat to blame as well. Mind you, taking them away from fly bearing sewers such as Egypt doesnt seem to help either. See here about this practise in France. I quote:

……the woman's surgeon says he gets three to five queries and performs one to three hymenoplasties each week. Demand has been rising for the past three or four years.

Doctor Marc Abecassis, whose office is near the chic Champs Elysees, sees the rise in religion among France's five million Muslims fuelling this trend. His patients are between 18 and 45 years old, Muslim, born both in France and in North Africa.

"Many of my patients are caught between two worlds," said Abecassis. They have had sex already but are expected to be virgins at marriage according to a custom that he called "cultural and traditional, with enormous family pressure"……

Some Muslims in France have been putting much more emphasis on certain customs as a way of expressing their identity. "Today it's the two 'V's' -- veil and virginity," he said. "It's a social phenomenon."

Surprisingly, French social security reimburses some of the cost of the operation in cases of rape or trauma. "Ninety-nine percent of the time, the claim is a fraud," he added.

Esphoks on the lot of them. What a bunch of nincompoops to allow religion, tradition and stupid parental pressure to let them get to this state. Honour killings?