Sunday, June 8

Britain, as seen from Japanese eyes - brilliant

This is absolutely side splitting, very funny! I quote:

A man who allows a muddy-pawed retriever to sleep on his bed is quintessentially British. If he ties the hound to a tree in his garden, he is not. He may also get lynched.

Britons do not value business cards greatly – a prospect may scratch his ear with the card you have carefully presented to him. Discussing house prices is, in contrast, a ritual vital to winning trust.

Be warned also that British customers are more like cats than dogs. Their loyalty is highly conditional. They may prefer a supplier who is cheap to one who has attended their children’s christenings.

Sleeping during business meetings occurs in the UK, though less commonly than in Japan. In Britain the privilege of slumbering through meetings is extended only to very senior company officials. They will typically have earned it by voting for the chief executive to receive successive above-inflation pay settlements. These elders are called “non-executive directors”.

British chief executives have a lot of power. Shockingly, British middle managers sometimes even let them take decisions all on their own

Japan has excelled in such activities as carmaking, consumer electronics and Hello Kitty licensing. Britain has also done well in carmaking, thanks to Toyota. It is a world leader in many other industries, which do not however immediately come to mind.

Like some other island races, the British distrust immigrants. We limit numbers, not through entry controls, which do not exist in any practical form, but by making foreigners’ lives unpleasant after they arrive. Heathrow, QED. Economic migrants are given such stressful work as caring for the children of middle-class professionals. Many quickly migrate back where they came from.

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