I love Voltaire, the man with brilliant quips and a great mind. We need more of him, but I think God has a funny sense of humour. Check out the image below :)
Some of his more memorable quotes:
A witty saying proves nothing.
All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
All styles are good except the tiresome kind.
All the reasoning's of men are not worth one sentiment of women.
An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.
Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
Anyone who seeks to destroy the passions instead of controlling them is trying to play the angel.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
Better is the enemy of good.
Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.
He is a hard man who is only just, and a sad one who is only wise.
He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.
History should be written as philosophy.
How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted.
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
I hate women because they always know where things are.
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
I know many books which have bored their readers, but I know of none which has done real evil.
Ice-cream is exquisite - what a pity it isn't illegal.
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another.
In this country it is a good thing to kill an admiral from time to time to encourage the others.
It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.
It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
Let us read and let us dance - two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense.
Of all religions, the Christian should of course inspire the most tolerance, but until now Christians have been the most intolerant of all men.
Originality is nothing by judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another.
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
The ancient Romans built their greatest masterpieces of architecture, their amphitheatres, for wild beasts to fight in.
The art of government is to make two-thirds of a nation pay all it possibly can pay for the benefit of the other third.
The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.
The Holy Roman Empire is neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire.
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbours, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all.
The public is a ferocious beast; one must either chain it or flee from it.
The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything.
To hold a pen is to be at war.
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
We are rarely proud when we are alone.
What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature.
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
Whoever serves his country well has no need of ancestors.
Woe to the makers of literal translations, who by rendering every word weaken the meaning! It is indeed by so doing that we can say the letter kills and the spirit gives life.