Sunday, November 27

Fwd: “Son, Men Don’t Get Raped”

Ive told you before son. I don't like wars. Seriously don't like wars. I wander churches and graveyards and war memorials and trace the dead soldiers names on the stone walls and plaques.

In South Africa, where the British had the dubious honour of creating the first concentration camp during the boer war, I saw graves of young Britishers. Young soldiers who died now decades and decades back. And I stood in front of those graves and watched the full grey pitted stone under the pitiless Southern African sun in the cerulean skies. There was no sound other than a bit of susurrations of the wind through the grasses. And looked at the graveyard full of silent gravestones and bodies buried in there. We sent these young boys and officers there to be eviscrated and disembowelled by the upward stabbing assegai of the Zulu warriors. For what? They are silent but I asked the question and didn't get a good answer.

That's not to say that you don't protect yourself and your state. If attacked, yes I'll sign up but we went too far son. And the army start having some real psychotic bastards in the ranks. See this story for example.

People who are all gung-ho about the military do not think about these aspects. They aren't good things to know. People are very happy to send them off to the wars. But they are distasteful when they come back. If you go to the museum of london, there are two paintings. One showing soldiers and sailors going off to fight in the Indian mutiny in 1857. Another one shows them disembarking after the mutiny was squelched. The treatment is amazing.

But that's besides the point. Men do get raped son. And it's the weak that get picked on. It's specially when people get drunk. Or are in dark places. Or people get together in groups and gang up on others. I don't need to tell you that you shouldn't do this.

But how do you avoid it son? How can you avoid being a victim? First know this can happen. And it does happen. And it can really screw up people's lives. Second beware of people's motivations when they are in positions of power. Power gives people delusions son. And drink. I wouldn't drink. Never to the extent that my faculties are compromised. When I was young I used to drink. But now no. I don't have a reason to drink. But most importantly you don't lose control son. Specially when you're around other s who can take advantage. And finally, you have to walk tall. It's in the walk. A solid grounded confident walk. Look people into the eye and shake hands firmly. Walk into a room as if you own that room. Confidence. Body language son.

Stay safe Kannu.

Can't wait to see you this Friday. Haven't seen you for months and i missed you :)

Love you so much


"Son, Men Don't Get Raped"

           GQ LongformSexual assault is alarmingly common in the U.S. military, and more than half of the victims are men. According to the Pentagon, thirty-eight military men are sexually assaulted every single day. These are the stories you never hear—because the culprits almost always go free, the survivors rarely speak, and no one in the military or Congress has done enough to stop it Nathaniel Penn PlatonA warshipis like a city—sprawling, vital, crowded with purposeful men and women. But on a warship, as in a city, there are people who will see you not as their friend or their neighbor but rather as their prey.After turning 25, Steve Stovey joined the Navy to see the world: Malaysia, Australia, Japan, Fiji, the Persian Gulf. His first year and a half as a signalman on the USS Gary was "the greatest time of my life," he says.In late September 1999, Stovey was sailing to Hawaii, where he'd be joined by his father on a Tiger Cruise, a beloved Navy tradition in which family members accompany sailors on the final leg of a deployment. Parents and kids get to see how sailors live and work; they watch the crew test air and sea weapons. The Disney Channel even made a movie about a Tiger Cruise, with Bill Pullman and Hayden Panettiere. The West Coast itinerary is usually Pearl Harbor to San Diego.On the morning of September 20, two weeks before the warship was due in port, three men ambushed Stovey in a remote storage area of the ship, where he'd been sent to get supplies. They threw a black hood over his head, strangled and sodomized him, then left him for dead on a stack of boxes. Stovey told no one. He was certain that his attackers, whose faces he hadn't glimpsed, would kill him if he did. He hid in a bathroom until he could contain his panic and tolerate the pain. Then he quietly returned to his post.Stovey says he might have killed himself were it not for his father's imminent arrival. The timing of the visit was "almost a miracle," he says. "When I saw him, it was the most safe feeling I'd ever felt in my whole life."Father and son spent the next five days on board ship, almost certainly being watched by the three attackers. "I just kept it inside," Stovey says in a low voice. "I couldn't tell him."I."You will not make a noise"

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