“When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”
Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies
i came across this quote today. found it very useful son. Given the ugly ass face i have got, i was never able to coast on my good looks lol. people with good looks do have a built in benefit. they get more pay, they get more partners, they get more forgiveness, they are more popular, they get off more traffic tickets etc etc. and this is academic research, but you cannot do anything about what and how you look. you can be well dressed and presentable but thats it. you have to be 10 times better at your personality and intellect to compete with the beautiful people. an outgoing personality, a happy laugh, twinkling eyes, a sense of humour, well read personality, all is what you use to even up the odds. not that you arent good looking, i think you are brilliant but then i am biased :)
but that not what i wanted to say, son. everybody you look around will be running around trying to look good. seriously. the cult of external beauty is tremendous son. with the rise in social media, apps, photography, etc. etc. thats what you will see, first reactions. people spend an awesome amount of time money and energy in making sure they look good. cosmetic surgery. makeup (just read about this man who is an editor of a magazine, takes 4 baths a day and puts on makeup!!!!) and puts their best side forward on their social media presence etc. etc.
which is fine. everybody wants to be loved and be admired and look good and and and. but then as i have always told you son, never follow the crowd. thats why you pretty much totally ignore what people look like and use the non common, unique ways to indentify and know the insides of a person. see how they walk. see how they react to a flower or an abandoned dog. look at how they pour ketchup son. See how they use their cars. know how they scratch their noses. i have told you about sniffing people discreetly. that's what you need to do.
not that im saying not to have lust. of course you should have it. be out there and have fun with beauty and and and :) but dont forget to look deeper son. thats where the real person lives, not on the surface.
that said, ive got to end with a counterfactual quote by jean kerr, 'im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. thats deep enough. what do you want - an adorable pancreas?' :)